As A Parent, Do You Find Yourself Doing Too Much For Your Children? What Sort Of Kids Do You Want to Raise?
The question I have for you drives right to the center of the matter. It may alter that tired, haggard feeling you might have at the end of a day or at the end of your weekend. It may alter the lives of your kids for the better and the life of their future partner. Even more than that, it may come to alter your community, because once I’ve informed you the question and you have seen how highly effective it is you will want to share it together with your brother, sister, neighbors, spouse and friends and possibly work colleagues.
Before I ask you my question I need to set the scene. You’re a loving father or mother striving to give your kids the very best life you possibly can provide. You race around the house, picking up their soiled underwear from under the bed, gather the towels from the bathroom floor and spend whatever time it takes to fix their favorite meals, like a short order cook while one of your kids spends 50% of their free-time surfing the web and talking in chat rooms and the other catches up on 30 hours of TV every week. Meanwhile, you… Well, there’s you…
Generally you may feel drained. Deflated and exhausted. Generally unappreciated and maybe just a tad bit irritable and grumpy! In the event you relate to any of what I describe above then my question will change it all for you and I recommend you read more below.
For women, age-old family values nonetheless play an enormous part on the activities we pursue with our families. Values passed down – mother-to-mother – combined with instincts to support, love and nurture the family. And despite working a day job, you, in all probability, still arrive home and attempt to care for your loved ones in the way in which your mom took care of you. How are your mom’s heritage age-old values working for you and, equally as important, are they working for your kids?
So, Here Is The Question… What Sort Of Kids Do You Want To Raise?
Do we want to raise well-rounded, confident, thoughtful kids that show appreciation and gratitude for all that’s given to them and just a fraction of what you do for them? Do you want to raise strong, loving kids, who understand and accept responsibility for his or her ‘self’ and those they love. For those who do then I’ve a second question for you…
Will The Current Activities and Behavior In Your Family Make That Happen?
Will chatting to strangers on the internet throughout a large part of her free-time help your daughter develop into a confident, thoughtful, considerate and loving adult? Will Netflix and the Disney Channel help your son to respect his sense of ‘self’ and those he loves? And will you, picking up their sweaty, crumpled, underwear help them to develop into a responsible person, accountable for their own actions, hopes and dreams… their life?
I, not too long ago, overheard a lady speaking about her 8, or maybe it was 10, year-old son. She confessed to laying out his clothes every morning, packing his school lunch and backpack with books, after which she mentioned, “Because if I don’t, he’ll forget.” This shocked me and this is why…
My own kids, since and early age, do all of the things that a number of mom’s still do like make their own lunch, put their dishes in the sink or dishwasher and more. Why? Because I’m their parent – their guide and leader, not their nanny – and as such I have a duty to first nurture, then educate, then, as soon as they’re ready, I hand over these duties for his or her own well-being. Kids who take part in their own life – picking up their soiled linens, contributing to dinner and tidying their house – go on to develop into confident, well-rounded, respectful adults; and kids who don’t… well they’re the ones you may speak ill about to your friends when you witness them disrespecting each other and other human beings and find that the fault of their circumstances is that they are a victim of their surroundings and environment when in reality it can be more than that and a result of a lack of responsibility on their part to acknowledge said lack of responsibilities in upbringing is entirely their own fault and a parent can help correct that from an early age in their children.
So, Where Do I Start Giving My Kids Some Responsibilities?
“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.”
Start by asking and guiding your kids in asking them to tackle small duties. Ask them to put their clothes in a laundry basket or hang up a towel after bathing. Ask them to carry their plates to the sink and wash them after dinner and tell them they’re helping you and that you recognize their help and appreciate it. Give them a hug for their help and they may do much more! As they get better at these tasks, gradually increase the difficulty and number of these chores around the house. Ask them to cut the grass for you, iron the clothes or prepare and cook dinner.
“Teaching kids about responsibility isn’t easy – but what part of parenting is? It can take years and lots of practice. ”– Care.com
Possibly we may trust our kids with a vacuum or a mop or a duster a couple of times each week as a good start!
Help your kids to seek out purpose in life. Find extra time for your ‘self’ so you may more clearly define your own purpose in life.